Backstory

This is different from the introductory post, I swear. It’s a history lesson! Kind of. It's also me getting into the rhythm of blogging, which is a completely new concept to me.

I’m going to start off by saying this: I have not faced harrowing walls of discrimination due to my sexuality. I think there are quite a few non-heterosexual people who have not (yet) faced harrowing walls of discrimination due to their sexuality. Does that make it any less important that they are anything but straight? No. You don’t have to struggle to be validated. You exist the way you are. That should be enough.

Now, I can attribute this lack of confrontation to my high school’s proximity to San Francisco, and the generally accepting attitude of the West Coast. (At least in my experience) people from these three states respect your choices even if they don’t agree with them. I know that is not true for everyone. But it was true for me at least.

However, just because I haven’t flown my queer flag in the face of anti-gay haters does not mean that I have not struggled. It’s hard being different. Everyone knows that. Everyone has something about them that makes them different, and maybe make them feel a little less accepted because of it. One thing I constantly worried about (and still do, to some extent) is what people will think of me. Bisexuals probably do not receive as much media attention as gay or lesbian people; my theory is that quite a few people view bisexuality as something that isn’t such a big deal, or just an experimental phase or some sort. I don’t know. I haven’t taken psychology classes on the subject so I don’t know of any studies that have analyzed the rationale of the relative invisibility of bisexuals. Perhaps it is because a bisexual can carry out a “normal” or “straight” lifestyle, because they desire people of the opposite as well as the same sex. [I would like to refer to http://humoncomics.com/niels as a fun example of bisexuality]

I just want to say that just because you didn’t have rigidly intolerant parents, or a disowning community, or face ridicule at school, does not mean you have not struggled. I almost feel bad, having come from a very tolerant community and family; I almost feel like my different sexual identity isn’t really a big deal because no one has gotten mad at me for it, or threatened me, or told me I was going to hell.

Not directly, at least. The influence is still there, in the news, in the media, and simply being in the presence of other people. It’s difficult, even if I don’t admit it to myself. I am something that society at large does not want to see married, or have kids, or be able to cover my children or partner under insurance. That’s the message trans, queer, and LGBT people are sent every day.

I don’t want to launch into an “it gets better” talk, because I would rather save that for a different post, but I’ll say it just the once. You struggle, and it gets better.

You just have to keep telling yourself that.

-Doc Badass